Reviving an Old Hobby

I have revived an old hobby: model rocketry. Haven’t built or flew one since high school. So far I’ve built or am in the process of building six rockets. I have joined the Dallas Area Rocket Society (DARS) - http://www.dars.org/. Cool huh? Happy I don’t even have to be a rocket scientist to participate in the hobby.

20111124 -

Ha! Happy I’m a rocket scientist now!

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Last Rites...

A bus on a busy street struck a Catholic man. He was lying near death on the sidewalk as a crowd gathered.

"A priest. Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasped.

Long seconds dragged on but no one stepped out of the crowd.

A policeman checked the crowd and finally yelled, "A PRIEST, PLEASE! Isn't there a priest in this crowd to give this man his last rites?"

Finally, out of the crowd stepped a little old Jewish man in his 80s.

"Mr. Policeman," said the man, "I'm not a priest. I'm not even a Christian. But for 50 years now, I'm living behind the Catholic Church on Second Avenue, and every night I'm overhearing their services. I can recall a lot of it, and maybe I can be of some comfort to this poor man."

The policeman agreed, and cleared the crowd so the man could get through to where the injured man lay.

The old Jewish man knelt down, leaned over the man and said in a solemn voice:





B-4 .... I-19 ... N-38 ... G-54 .... O-72
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Granny

A dying granny tells her granddaughter, "I want to leave you my farm. That includes the villa, the tractor, and other equipment, the farmhouse and $22,398,750.78 in cash." The granddaughter, about to become rich says, "Oh granny, you are so generous. I didn't even know you had a farm. Where is it?". With her last breath, granny whispered, "Facebook..."
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Green Times

In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she
should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good
for the environment.


The woman apologized to her and explained, "We didn't have the green
thing back in my day."


The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did
not care enough to save our environment."


He was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.


Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to
the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and
sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and
over. So they really were recycled.


But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.


We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every
store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't
climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two
blocks.


But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.


Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the
throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy
gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really
did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their
brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that old lady
is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day.


Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every
room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief
(remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana.


In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have
electric machines to do everything for us.


When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded
up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.


Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut
the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised
by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on
treadmills that operate on electricity.


But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.


We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup
or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water.


We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we
replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the
whole razor just because the blade got dull.


But we didn't have the green thing back then.


Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their
bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour
taxi service.


We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets
to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget
to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in
order to find the nearest pizza joint.


But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old
folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?
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Phone service from hell

George Bush,  Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is  finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin  writes him a check.
Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When  she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so  she writes him a check.
Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he  is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.
When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply. 
The devil smiles and replies, "Since  Obama took over, the country has gone to hell, so it's a local  call."
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